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"He's got a nun tied up in there."
"I
know, Father."
"He's got
her at gunpoint."
"I know."
"Well what
the hell are you going to do about it?"
"Something,"
I said.
The church was
out in the middle of nowhere. It was a small chapel
built on
a tiny hill at a fork in the road. In the springtime it probably
looked
pretty as hell. But this was the middle of winter. It was raining.
It was
getting dark.
"How did
he know I was coming?" I said.
"I don't
know," Father Michaels said. "He's a bad man."
"He's a
kid," I said.
"He's a
criminal."
"His parents
are trying to change that," I said. "That's why they want
him
back."
"He's evil,"
Father Michaels said.
I turned and
walked toward the church. "Don't follow me," I said.
"Don't
let anyone else inside."
I walked up
the stairs to the door. I looked around. The bare tree
trunks
looked black in the rain. No one else was around. Every few seconds
a
car
would pass. It was a winding road through the mountains and windy
as
hell.
Another set of headlights flashed by and I went in.
It was warm
in the church. There was a glow of candlelight. There was
a
smell of incense. And on the far side, midway down the aisle, there
was a nun
chained to the radiator. I moved toward her slowly. I didn't see
anyone else.
But I sensed someone. There was someone else breathing the oxygen
in
the
room.
She wasn't moving.
Her body had sagged against the radiator. Her arms
hung
above her. Her feet were splayed in opposite directions on the floor.
I
moved closer. "Sister," I said. "Sister Mary Margaret."
I had my gun
out.
"She won't
answer," a voice said. "She's like that. A bitch. A bitch
who
won't answer."
The voice came
from between the pews. A kid sat up. It was Keith
Denevere.
"Who the
fuck are you?" he said.
"Salvation,"
I said. "With a fucking gun."
"Fuck you,"
he said.
"Just another
typical church conversation."
Denevere stared
at me hard. He had a gun too. It was aimed at me.
"Get the
fuck out of here," he said.
"I can't,"
I said.
"You can't?
You fucking well better get out. You'll get out and
you'll have
a bullet in your ass too."
I had stopped
moving. I was a few feet from Sister Mary Margaret. Up
close
she looked like hell. Her habit was torn and her hair was hanging
in
long
sweaty strands down over her face. The chains that held her were
rusty
and
probably from a garage somewhere. They were wrapped around the
radiator and
padlocked and she was handcuffed at the wrist and ankles to the
chains.
She was
sweating profusely. I realized that the radiator was still on.
"Put your
gun down," the kid said. Most of his body was shielded by
the
pews. I was out in the open.
"Put your
fucking gun down now," he said.
I went to place
it on the windowsill and he said, "On the fucking
floor,
asshole. Kick it under the pews." I put it on the floor and
kicked it
about a
foot under the pews.
"What are
you doing in here?" he said.
"I came
for confession," I said.
Denevere got
to his feet and moved toward the aisle. He was about ten
rows
in front of me.
"Your father
sent me," I said.
"My father?
My fucking father?"
"He sent
me to bring you home," I said.
"I don't
have a fucking father," Denevere said. He was a short kid but
the
shadows from the candlelight made him look taller.
"Your father
and mother want you back with them," I said. "They want
to help
you. They want to fix whatever's wrong."
"They can't
fucking fix nothing," he said. "They can fix shit with
their
fucking money."
"I tracked
you a long way," I said. "They paid me a lot."
"Sure,"
he said. "Fucking sure. Sure they did. They want me back.
They
want me to play on the fucking varsity squad and learn chess and
get a
fucking
father and son membership at the fucking country club."
"They're
not your real parents," I said.
"Fuck no."
"Okay,"
I said. "Fuck them. I won't send you back there."
That threw him
a little. He was in the aisle now and he stopped. He
still
had the gun on me but he was starting to forget that he did.
"Just like
that," he said. "Just like that you won't send me back."
He had sandy
blond hair cut in jagged bangs and shaved above his ears. His jean
jacket was soaked with what looked like blood. Unless he had a mortal
wound and was hiding it, the blood wasn't his.
Sister Mary
Margaret opened her eyes. It wasn't her blood either.
"What's
going on here?" I said to Denevere. "Why are you holed
up in
here?
How'd you get out here?"
"I hitchhiked,"
Denevere said. "I needed to see the Sister here."
He was maybe
eighteen but he was all anger. He was years past caring
about
anything ever again. Maybe.
"Give me
the keys to the handcuffs," I said. "And we'll get her
off
this
thing."
"She fucking
stays where she is," Denevere said.
I looked at
the Sister. She was groggy but becoming more coherent.
The
radiator she was chained to was an old iron monster and it was
beginning to hiss.
"If we
don't get her off that thing," I said, "she'll scald to
death."
"She deserves
it," he said.
"Why?"
"She lied
to me."
"What kind
of lie?" I said.
"The fucking
worst kind, you fucking prick."
I was pretty
sure he didn't know he was holding the gun at all now.
Outside,
darkness had fallen. Father Michaels would be calling the police
soon.
They
would only make it worse.
"How did
she lie to you?" I said.
"Fuck you,
man. Just shut the fuck up with your stupid fucking
questions."
"I lied
about God," Sister Mary Margaret said.
We both turned
to look at her. Her head was hanging. Sweat was
dripping off
the tip of her nose. The radiator hissed behind her.
"I told
him," she said, "that God would protect him. That God
would be
with
him always."
"That was
a lie," Denevere said. "That was a fucking lie and you're
a
fucking lying bitch."
"I told
him that he'd be safe and happy. I told him that his parents
would
love him."
"They fucking
loved me all right. My old man loved me to death,"
Denevere
said.
The radiator
was steaming now. Sister Mary Margaret's hands were
blistering.
I didn't want to see her back.
"Fucking
old man," Denevere said. "My fucking father."
"What about
your real father?" I said.
Denevere nodded
toward the blood on his jacket.
"Why hurt
him," I said, "and not your other parents?"
"They didn't
abandon me," Denevere said. "They didn't give me up."
"But you
said your stepfather --"
"That's
what stepfathers do," Denevere said. "Isn't it?"
"Keith,
listen to me," Mary Margaret said. "I know we let you
down. I
don't
blame you for hating us. But..."
"But what?"
Denevere said. "But fucking what?"
"But you've
got to get out of here," she said. "The police are coming.
I
don't want to see you hurt anymore. I've hurt you enough."
"You didn't
do it," Denevere said.
"I did,"
she said.
"No,"
Denevere said. "No, Ma, I did. I did everything. I was a bad
kid.
That's why you sent me away."
Sister Mary
Margaret turned away from him. "Lord, forgive me," she
said.
"Lord in heaven forgive me."
I charged at
Denevere and caught his gun arm before he could fire. I
lifted
him and slammed him backward against the wall. The back of his head
cracked
one of the stained glass windows and he dropped the gun. I slammed
him
against
the wall a second time and he clawed at my face, scratching my eye
and
causing my grip to loosen. He slammed his fist into the side of
my
head and kicked
me in the groin. I still had him by the jacket but he slipped out
of
it and
got past me. He scrambled under the pews and came out with my
discarded gun.
He pointed it at me then at Sister Mary Margaret. Then at me. Back
and forth
between the two of us.
The blisters
on her hands had cracked. There was puss oozing between
her
fingers. She looked Denevere in the eye. "It was a sin,"
she said.
"What I
did. It was a sin. But your birth -- that was a miracle. You were
my
miracle."
"Then why
--" He choked on the tears that were starting to come.
"Then why
did you give me up?"
She stared at
him. She began to cry. Soon she was sobbing
uncontrollably.
Anguish was pouring out of her. Denevere pointed the gun at his
own
head.
"Why didn't you want me?" he said.
"Because,"
Mary Margaret said. "Because I didn't deserve a miracle."
Denevere pulled
the trigger. Nothing happened. He fell to his knees.
He
started sobbing. She tried to move toward him but the chains held
her
back. He
curled up at her feet and cried. I bent over and searched his jacket
pocket.
I found the key to the handcuffs and unlocked her wrists and ankles.
I
pocketed Denevere's gun and took my own from his limp hand and pocketed
that one
too. I lifted Sister Mary Margaret in my arms and moved toward the
front door.
She reached over her shoulder for Denevere. He was still curled
on
the
floor sobbing. I could hear sirens.
"It was
a miracle," she whispered in my ear. "He was a miracle
and it
was a
miracle that saved him."
I didn't bother
to tell her that before I entered the church I had
taken all
the bullets out of my gun.
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