Fuckin' hell, folks, how long since the last postbag? Huh?

Too long is how long. Don't think its because yous have been quiet, because you ain't been. No, you've been flapping your gums so hard its been hurricane season in Scotland. So with further ado:

So where the fuck are you?

Just about everybody who's written in the last few months

Emmmm... We got held up. We're on a backlog of fiction, Russel has been working on various side projects, Doug's been going on holiday lots with the Missus and basically we just fell behind... but we're back...

Are there any books you read that you just hate? Even the bad reviews on here seem basically to take into account the qualities of a book that one may find intriguing.

Greg

Yeah, Greg. There are a lot of books I just don't like. I mean, some its just because they ain't my style and others purely because they're so badly written they make me want to start a bonfire. If I don't finish a book I don't review it. Simple as that. So the excruciatingly bad rarely get reviewed. Of course, sometimes I don't finish a book simply cos it just doesn't grip. Doesn't make it appalling. But I don't review a book where I can't give the review any substance.

What happened to the TV reviews?

H.

H, fucking hell, I remember when you were in Steps... the wee camp one... didn't picture you as a fan of hardboiled crime... unless you're someone else entirely. Which I think is quite plausible. Anyway, I couldn't keep up with all the crime on TV and basically we were months behind the Americans and all the brit shows were shite (but watch out for Life On Mars: one of the best british cop shows for years and also a brilliant piece of time travel telly, too). Maybe I will do some DVD reviews again but for the time being the focus is on crime in print. Plus I was unbelievably cruel about Michael Chiklis and continually had fans of the Shield threatening to whomp on me. And those fellas don't mess about.

I knew it. I knew you couldn't do it. See, you weak willed, lily-livered sons of bitches! You folded. Oh you can pretend you're coming back, but we know the hardboiled sleazefest has come to an end. Oh yes we do.

Carl

Uh... well, that's just your opinion man.

(Bonus points if anyone can name the film that quote comes from)

I cannot read your webpage.

Especially deep-red type over a black background .... yuk

the blue/green is not much better.

E.

Which is a fair criticism, I suppose, but one we would take much more seriously if it wasn't sent to us in purple text that looks like Comic Sans (Rather literally purple prose, I suppose). Ok, the blue/green (which we rarely use) is maybe a bit off and if it was all in red, even I'd go mental (but most people have told me the red text - used to highlight certain things - stands out rather well), but the white/black...? Anyone else have a problem with that? (I know a certain Mr Williams has already made his feelings known on his blog about white text/black background...)

And 'nuff said, cos we're back baby!